BroKeN HearT

I noe i'm not suppose to blog this thing..It is not meant to be read..So dun read k!!I js blog cos I feel really heart broken..just forget bout wat I have blog in this post!!Dun read if possible..cos I dun have a diary to actually write in..so blog is the only source where I can pour out all my feelings..All this time...my blog were bout happy stuff..never once was it bout my real feelings..never once was it bout my relationship..I always thought I can handle my relationship nicely..EVerything I can settle it myself..nor did i need anyone's help..

I dunno wat i was wrong o where am i not perfect in..I just cant get into a good relationship..as in love..I've been very sad..been crying many nights..yet nobody ever able to understand how I feel. Maybe I'm too demanding o greedy to be saying stuff like this..I dunno wat's wrong with my bf n me!!I dunno wat is love..how love suppose to exist??WAT IS LOVE???

Sometimes..I cry till my eyes bulging out..cry till it sometimes hurts the skin around my face..I dunno who can I confide and really ask bout my relationship..I'm not asking for help..cos I think nobody can ever help me in stuff like this..

My last relationship was a disaster..I was dump by a guy who never really love o appreciated me..That is not the worse..the worse was..I was being blamed for everything I never did!!Was I demanding??Was I naive??Am I not matured eanough??But wat is over is over..I look forward 4 a better guy..Then I met my current stead...He was super sweet..We wrote letters, kisses, hugs..I will never forget those stuff!!He taught me many things..He tells me to be a more mature girl..n yet..I dunno wats happening to us now..Things are falling apart..I always have doubt in myself. whether o not I am good enough 4 him. I always cry alone at night in my bed..nobody ever noes..Dont pity me o hate him..Now i dunno wat is love all about..Wat decision should I make??Should I stay on and love him more??o should I leave??It is not a question that is to be answered..It was meant to stay that complicated and unknown..I miss all the love that I used to get so much..I lost so much confidence in myself..I became so dependant on my other half that if I lost it..I cannot survive!!N yet..I hadly meet my other half..I hardly feel the love vibrating around me..everything seems to diminished around me..yet I stay on..cos I noe somewhere out in his heart..he still love me!!but I dunno izzit true all izzit all my wishful thinking!!

I am feeling very confused frustrated hurt..really dunno wat should i do..Should i just stay on..o should i just keep quiet..o should I love him more??

I wan to be alone!!